(caution: whinefest ahead!)
Having a gray day here. I woke up at 4am and couldn't sleep and was immediately consumed by thoughts that we've done the wrong thing by moving here. The devil's not in the details; he's in the shadows of 4am, whispering his doubt. I get that...however, am not unaffected by it.
The house is in various levels of disruption with no one room complete. Trying out paint blotches on the walls, random boxes containing random things that we have just given up sorting, rooms empty of furniture or carpet. First world problems. But leaving me unsettled.
Most of all, I miss you all. Our life was so rich at home with support and fun and we have not connected with anyone here; not neighbors, not a church, not at school. None of us. It takes time, I know. But today I feel it.
And I'm just mad at my husband. He is working 12-14 hour days at this new job and although he loves it, I'm thinking, "I didn't sign up for this." I need my best friend now more than ever and he is largely unavailable.
Last night, we began a new tradition for our family. Daddy/daughter date & Momma/son date for Valentine's day. How do you do such in a one car family? Blessedly, each munchkin chose a restaurant across a parking lot from the other.
What a sweet time I had with my handsome Valentine Bug. He likes to talk...and much of the time in our normal days, I'm ashamed to say, I don't listen. Because he talks about things I'm not necessarily into, or because I believe the lie that what I'm doing or thinking is more important. I hold his precious heart in my hands and if I'm not going to engage and listen, who will? It was so nice to make him my most important task for an hour.
Well, must get on with it. Thanks for listening and indulging me a little navel-gazing. I need to lift my head up and do a little Col.3:23.
1 day ago