Because Your love is better than life, my lips will glorify You.
Psalm 63:3

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

And things were going swimmingly

WARNING: The ramblings of Summer Whinefest 2010 are about to begin.

{My computer is in the shop....again.....I know! But some sweet friends have given me a window on the world. Thank you!}

The phone rings...and the news changes our world. Not a phone call of profound changes. Not a phone call of the loss of life.

A phone call from the boss... a change of work plans. Sweet Man has a meeting that's been on our radar for months.  The meeting lasts 3 days and then he would travel home for a bit and back to headquarters to work on a project... for 90 days.

Family of four fun is over. We've had Creation, Fourth of July and camping fun...and time even for projects/relaxing at the house. A whole month of our favorite summer things. But alas, our summer days with Sweet Daddy are coming to an end...and we were planning a few more special things to do with Daddy when he came home after the meeting and before the new assignment.

But then, the phone rang. The boss...again. Plans have been changed...again. Still the meeting, still the 90 days at headquarters, but now there is a short assignment in Nebraska between the two. Short enough that it's not worth the trip for us to go out there. And there will be no trip home for him.

It may not seem much different on paper...but I am feeling the acute sadness fell on me. My head resumed its spinning...with the projects and the decisions and the errands and the obligations that I now have to take on myself.

Sweet Man wisely asked that I not let the new developments ruin the short time we had left together. We'll be apart for 3 weeks...which is about the longest I can go without him without losing my mind.

He left yesterday.

Our house is not sold and no longer on the market...which is fine in the short cleaning, no showings. But, we still have a house...with many things in storage...I'm still grieving a few of the things I "selled away" in our haste to empty our house. And this house is still filling up with junky stuff I buy in the meantime. It has been 18 months of meantime. The things that were clean and fixed at the beginning of this adventure are showing their wear again.

In our backyard, a significant project is in progress...the back fence is gone, soon the jungle behind it will be, too. I feel a little exposed. People can see in my backyard...can see us in our backyard. That's okay, though, right? I mean we're all people living in the same area...this could be a great thing. But Sweet Man won't be back to help make the final decisions on which screen {fence or foliage} we use to replace that boundary.

Homeschooling starts soon.

A few other big decisions are on the back burner.

The anniversary of Mom's death is approaching.

I must be careful, while he's gone, about my schedule as I have the tendency to fill the missing with too many activities...just so I'm not sitting at home missing him. So we're here...I'm determined to slow down...protect some quiet days even as my kiddos whine, "what are we doing today? who's coming over? I'm so bored."

I shouldn't even give a moment's energy to this discomfort of mine. A dear friend lost her sweet husband a few days ago...I have no right to gripe.

There's blackberry jam in the pantry...and cucumbers and zucchini on the counter, ready for some recipe experimentation. There are friends ready to help. There are smiles and cozy, cuddling-in-bed talks...and another VBS {I know...ridiculous}...there's Zumba...there are new discipline efforts that are working?.... There's swimming everyday {the pool looks fantastic after a little work, yesterday}...there's red nail polish...there are sweet hand-me down clothes...there's lots of love. There's a weekend whitewater rafting trip with my Women's Adventure Group...stay tuned...woohoo! {Made possible by gracious Grandma and Grandpa Johnson....thank you!!!!}

There is a greater plan and purpose for this time and for this family.

There are blessings all around.


Debby said...


Brooke said...

Hang in there Amy! And I think that Zumba is a sure fire way to help clear your mind & keep loneliness at bay!

Julie said...

Can't wait to have your kiddos on Sunday :)