When I compare my Sunday worship today to last week's...night and day. Today, I'm not reeling from bad news, exhausted from activity, or saying goodbye to my partner for who knows how long. Today, I'm not asking God for a break and afraid what else He may ask me to do. In fact, today(after an incredible sermon,) I'm waiting to hear from Him and hope to be quickly obedient...(so much easier that way.) Today, I can think about and pray for others instead of being mired in my own junk.
What's made the difference? Oh, a dash of familiarity, a boatload of fun with friends, and a dose of God's perspective. And some "yard-sale-ing!" God indeed gave me the break I needed.
We are settling into the house nicely...at first unpacking just what we need from our travel trunks and one bin from the Valley. But then yesterday we ventured out with a Yard Sale map in hand. We had a mission: find a bargain on a toaster oven...and we did. And I came back with much more. This house is empty and its yawning spaces are begging to be filled. Remember that time....about six months ago...when we "selled everything away?" Yeah, radical decision. And now I think "oh, I wish I hadn't given ________ away...I could really use it right now. What were we thinking?" I have to remember that life can be so much easier if I have less stuff to maintain.
We're going to take this life one day at a time. We may be Wichita bound; we may stay here. We may sell this house; we may hold onto it for years to come. I can grumble about being a single parent for a spell; or I can enjoy these crazy cute kids.
But I going to let Him remind me that He is the Captain of this ship and I am a passenger. I can keep looking back wondering if He knows where He's going and tell Him to watch out for those waves crashing. I can hide in my cabin trying to protect myself. I can panic and dash about the deck or I can stand and hold on asking what the other passengers need. The latter feels so much better. I pray this remains my perspective.