NPR

perhaps, I'm not so crazy...

I still love me some Dennis Miller, when I can find him on the dial. Between him, NPR, and a dose of family-friendly radio...I'm good.

Not sure how I feel about de-funding NPR as a small-government listener.

{I'll be back soon to tell you about our trip to see my sweet friend...much fun!}

No more whining

for now...the whinefest is over.

For now.

Thank You, LORD, for the gentle-shoulder-shake-get-a-grip message last night.

Do I pray the LORD's Prayer or do I merely recite it? When He gives me His kingdom, do I try to hand it back, saying...well, this kingdom is not what I meant...I meant my dreams, my plans, my kingdom. No, thank you. I launch into negotiation mode {like a certain boy, I know} and ask for more or different.

Am I willing to give up what I have...the material, the comfort, the relationships, the control, the time, the sin {all things I make too precious}...to receive what He wants me to have?

I have an incredible life. Thank You, for reminding me to look up instead of down to recover my astonishment at You. My small, but not insignificant, part is to be prepared and to help in the work of preparing for Your kingdom.  I recognize this concept is out-there...I'm still chewing on it. I need to study more about His kingdom.

AND....da~duh~da-da!!!! He {the other big man in my life} is coming home soon...Wednesday evening to be exact. Our family will have a long weekend together...during which we decide if we travel together back to Iowa? Nebraska? {not sure where he'll return, yet} OR if we will stay back here for now. {Post edit: Road trip! The four of us will be heading west on Sunday to stay ??? don't know how long...or exactly where we'll be, but we'll be together.}

Jewels

My tender, persistent friend gave me a beautiful gift for my birthday. She has discovered what my husband has known for several years:: my love language is earrings. Specifically, semi-precious stone danglies with a bit of heft to them. {Did you write that down? Go ahead, I'll wait.}

The pretties would have been wonderful enough...but then I read the literature about Trade Justice Mission that she included with the gift.

My heart clenched. 

Please understand that I am not trying to do the blogger thing and jump on a humanitarian wagon to add gravitas to my words or to increase {ha!} my readership...I have no interest in that. But our God asks us to help ease suffering and I wonder...how can I do anything to beat back the darkness?

I read the stories of two women and watched this video. The gracious, noble, beautiful work this organization is doing resonates with me.

Then I discovered that the headquarters are about 3 doors down from the house I lived in during my high school years.  

Oh, I will be back. As a customer and an advocate.

Book review

*Forgive me, friends. I reverted to my college paper-writing days...well, I was more coherent then...achieving this trancelike state (get your own lunch, kiddos!) and just writing. So, read on if you think you might enjoy this book or click onward into the blogosphere if you think otherwise. And to my homies: you may have to wait to find this book at our library...I will return it upon my return   *

P. S. Click on the embedded links to find out more about the author or the books.


p. 23...from my favorite author, Lisa Samson in The Passion of Mary-Margaret

I chose to embrace the spiritual because already, by that age, I knew I needed something more. More than coming home to an empty apartment after school. More than my tired grandmother and my tired aunt who came home after shucking oysters or picking crabs all day at the cannery. More than shoes that pinched my feet. It seemed like less effort for me to bring God into the pitiful circumstances of my life than to demand a fancy, all-encompassing do-over. I thought perhaps that might be too hard for God. I confess, sometimes I still think some things are too hard for God. I mean, deep down I think that. But thankfully there's an even deeper down. Unfortunately, crawling down into that well hurts like the devil because we know God can do something and yet doesn't, and we don't have many choices after that realization, and none of them are one hundred percent easy-breezy.

Loved this book. Love Lisa Samson...she's a Christian author...but not the sticky-sweet, contrived plot, sanctimonious sort. Oh, yeah, I said it...had enough of those books. She's genuine and she deals with ugly issues with frankness and humor...kind of what I want to be when I grow up...not an author, heaven's no...but a woman, dealing face to face with grim doubt and human ugliness with compassion and without judgment. My heart is not there, yet.

Here are snippets...hopefully just tantalizing enough without giving too much away ::

Mary-Margaret is an orphan on an island off the coast of Maryland, brought up by her Catholic grandmother and just-a-bit-touched aunt. She is told she was conceived in rape. The sisters of the island's parish educate and embrace her. Also on the island is a troubled boy, Jude, living in an abusive home. He takes a shine to her, in an obnoxious sort of way, but she is in love with Jesus. She chooses to become a religious sister, serving in many ways, but mostly enjoying teaching art and expressing herself through painting and sculpture. She and Jude follow their separate paths with interesting intersections of lives and time. We follow the threads of her faithful service to Christ, her quest to find out about her mother and father, and Jude's redemption. Mary-Margaret writes the book as a memoir to be read posthumously and describes 4 or 5 different timelines...which I must confess, tripped me up a little. 


The essence of the book emerges as Lisa describes Mary-Margaret's sweet, intimate, warm, deep friendship with Jesus. He visits her and calls her by her real name, which is never spelled out for us readers. She eagerly anticipates His visits, and He shows up unannounced to encourage her, share a cup of tea, or give her a specific task. He evades most of her questions but sometimes reveals funny little bits of a beloved's story, keeping her on a need to know basis. He honors her special requests like her plea to die while she is on her knees in prayer. They know and love each other well.

If you have read The Shack, Passion similarly helped me understand the Trinity more (will I ever get it? not this side of heaven...,) fleshing out how a relationship with Christ looks and how Our Father loves us. I liked this way better than The Shack, btw. Her portrayal of Christ is the way I think He wants to interact with all of us...but we're I'm not paying attention. Questioning her grip on sanity, Mary-Margaret suggests that God may more easily communicate with those the world considers touched as they are not bound by convention and assumption.

Trading soundness of mind for her connection with Christ would be an easy choice for her...but be assured Mary-Margaret is very rational. She's funny, down-to-earth, compassionate, hard-working, joyful and steps out of her cloistered life often to get down and dirty in the muck of this world. She looks for Christ in every situation while acknowledging that we are permitted to really mess things up over and over. She questions the substance of faith out of fear vs. faith out of love vs. lack of faith.

The whole story indicates to me just how much Lisa gets it. She describes what a my relationship with Christ and my active faith can look like...in practical, of-this-world-but-eyes-on-the-things-above terms. I knew that if by p. 23, her words resonated with me, this book is going to be used by God to entertain, encourage, challenge, and change me. Really good book, in my book. God, bless Lisa Samson.

been thinking...

...and from the height of a just right holiday celebration down into the valley of melancholy I slide...

the parties are over, the decorations packed away...the extra food lingers...{really, two parties in two days with different menus...good grief}

soon I will be alone again...

...and one of my safety nets is leaving for a warmer climate

I don't do resolutions, per se...or rather I don't regulate them to the calendar...instead making grand proclamations of great intention and change...without the consistency to change lifestyle

and today, my blogging anniversary...begs the question....

is it worth it? for whom do I write? you or me?

should I go on just conveying happy information about our travels...dabbling in homemaking, theology, navel-gazing?

I feel the pull of change...a need to protect more...not let people know so much about where I am and who's with me...or not with me...

a resistance to giving information about myself to people I used to talk to but now, for some reason, don't

a resistance to giving information about myself which can be judged and commented upon, suggestions of change noted

and then the resentment of unexpressed expectation...I'm going to say whatever I want here

of the missing an old way of life...with a community, a husband I saw every day, a gym membership

...my mom

can I tell you how my heart is breaking to say goodbye to my love again...with a plan to reunite in 10 days... then say goodbye again...for who knows how long...it's left up to me to decide

having a choice between being embraced by this house and its coziness or venturing into the world to be embraced by Sweet Man...

I know WHO to ask...if I just take the time to do it...

these shouldn't be difficult decisions....