Because Your love is better than life, my lips will glorify You.
Psalm 63:3
Showing posts with label Momma. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Momma. Show all posts

Thursday, April 5, 2012

news

Why am I blogging again? I'm thinking it helps me process and remember and make decisions.

You know how I am about making decisions...I stew, I consult, I ask the woman cutting my hair what she thinks I should do {psshah, like I have my hair cut.}

Wisdom has taught me that if I'm not given a deadline, I ask for one, otherwise I hem and haw forever. Only Jesus and Sweet Man received an immediate and emphatic "yes." Every other decision is agonizing...for those around me.

In a matter of minutes, I will be finalizing the biggest decision I've made in a while...accepting a job offer with Classical Conversations.

I'm really excited.

Some words to describe my week of training in Virginia:
  • daunting
  • exhilarating
  • encouraging
  • fun
  • exhausting
  • nauseous
  • challenging
  • vision-casting
  • mind-blowing
  • glory-to-God giving
Can I tell you more later? 

I'm on my way to listen to my new boss read Lamentations on Maundy Thursday. The night is dark, but the Son will rise again.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

what up?

whatchya been doin? 
who am I kidding, is there anyone even here still...

tap, tap...is this thing on?


what do you want to know?
no, actually...what do I want to remember from the last whirlwind weeks:


  • long good morning hugs
  • waking up girl stretched across my lap, watching Fraggle Rock...old school
  • margaritas with friends
  • best popcorn ev-ah at the drive-in
  • sunset during worship at Creation
  • bubblegum bubble blowing contests
  • chore charts...that actually work
  • dirty, filthy mini-feet...sure sign of a good day: when you have to scrub before bed
  • boy who does what momma asks after only one request...I have countless examples
  • hours of books on CD
  • actually turning in reading charts for summer reading program...huzzah!
  • friends following on interstate when the unexpected happens
  • van with new smile (remember last summer's mishap? oh yeah, I never gave you the whole story...oops) and one new very special tire
  • good books
  • new babies with forever families...sniff & smile
  • incredible young men who don't mind hanging out with middle-agers and school-agers (Susan, your boys are fantastic...and doppelganger alert: K reminds us so much of our nephew...wonderfully weird...the similarities, not the boys)
  • embracing the people in my life as my family 
  • fireworks
  • campfire hair
  • Sweet Man...keeping the place running
  • hotel nights
  • Sonic ice
  • my out-stand-ing swimmer - Bean likes to walk to the wall to finish a race, afterwards exclaiming "I didn't know I could touch there, Mom!"
  • wet hair and AC on a hot day
  • carnie fries with malt vinegar
  • painting rooms with wise friends
  • watching a parade
  • clean sheets dried on the line


Moments make life.


Monday, January 24, 2011

Bean's birth

You ready for more? We just celebrated her 5th birthday with a blowout party...{the very reason we don't do it every year} so let's start at her beginning. Again...love getting this in print...if you enjoy it, all the better.

Cruising right along, we were thoroughly in love with and enjoying our baby boy Bug. What a sweet baby he was...he was easy on my parental naivete. He was a good nurser, had an intoxicating giggle, a perfectly round head and the beginnings of red curls. I felt {and still feel} immensely privileged to accept this new position of mom and be able to stay home with him all day, every day. I continued my tutoring, but had a student coming directly to my house while Bug was napping. Worked perfectly...most days. 

Just after he became a year old,  his nursing was less frequent. I was sad, but I suppose I wanted my body and schedule back a little. We traveled on a retreat with our church's youth group and once we arrived home, he was pretty much finished. That was April and he was 14 months old.

You know what happened next...within a month I suspected I was pregnant. It was a weekday morning when I got up and took the test and I snuggled back into bed with a listening ear tuned in to the early morning murmurings of my little man. I think I even fell back asleep. Sweet Man was getting ready for work and he brought the test back in to me with a smile. Bean was on the way. 

So different than last time. It seemed my body was primed and ready for this pregnancy. I made sure to visit my chiropractor and began taking my progesterone supplement again.

Her pregnancy was fairly uneventful, except that I was so tired and couldn't sneak off and nap while I had my one year old on the loose. I remember coming up with a plan to let him play in our spare bedroom/playroom and sleep in front of the door to prevent escape. Well, his escape would at least wake me up. I was big faster than before and probably uncomfortable earlier. This time I didn't develop carpal tunnel, but she was sitting on my sciatic nerve....youch!

I saw the midwife who delivered Bug only once to have an ultrasound. I told her then that I was slightly disappointed in my hospital birth experience and surprised that she used medical intervention so readily {this is me, not so good at confrontation.} I left stating I would be having this baby at home. Back to Kathy I went. So exciting. 

Visits with her at her home were relaxed with Bug toddling around, playing with toys.  There were no internal exams...very little intervention. Just checking heart rates of me and baby, measuring of my belly, protein screening, and stepping on the scale. My protein was always low...{this is me, a carboholic.} Like our first, we did not know the gender of the baby.

The birth: Contractions began on a Friday. Very bearable and irregular. I cleaned and nested...clothes were tucked away in the dresser, cloth diapers organized, co-sleeper next to the bed. We had collected everything for our birth kit...towels, heating pad, plastic sheets, chux, etc. I splurged and bought raspberry candles for the birthing room. {And new toilet brushes for all 3 bathrooms. Very important.} The re-rented birthing tub was set up and ready to be filled.

Things continued that way through Saturday. Kathy and I had a couple of conversations. I didn't eat much, thinking that anytime my labor would really kick in. By the time Saturday Night Live was on, I was starving. Sweet Man made a huge bowl of kettle corn. I ate it. All. Fantastic idea. I slept off and on that night. 

By Sunday morning, things were happening. My midwife arrived before Bug was up. She asked me questions and was concerned that the little I had eaten the day before would not sustain me though the rest of the labor. She made me eat eggs and a couple cups of yogurt...again with the protein. We arranged for Mimi {my mom} to come and get Bug and deliver him to Opa {my dad.} Somehow, once he was safe and sound somewhere else, my body knew I could concentrate on the task at hand. 

Kathy and I took a walk in the frigid January air...I remember feeling silly waving to my neighbors as I was doubled over in a contraction. Back inside, my sweet friend and doula, Bekah arrived and my spirit immediately calmed. I rolled around the living room on my birthing ball as she filled me with labor tea. Kevin was upstairs filling the tub. Kathy gave me nasty-tasting herbal tinctures under my tongue to keep up my labor momentum.

I remarked how normal I felt...having a lovely conversation with friends, laughing...except this intense cramping would interrupt us. That and the fact I was in my underwear. Bekah encouraged me to go low with my vocal groans, from my belly...amazing how much that helped get me through the intensity.  I wouldn't even call it pain. Labor was so different this time.  Kathy examined me and declared me ready to get in the water.

Soon my mom returned, followed by my pregnant cousin, Carrie, and another dear friend, Molly. I was already upstairs in the tub. My contractions were strong and within 5 minutes of each other. Candles were lit in the dark room, Sarah Mclachlan was playing in the background, towels and receiving blankets were warmed, Bekah was reading scripture and taking pictures. Kathy's calm voice was reassuring and directing me. Sweet Man's strong arms helped me change positions and his touch made me feel safe.

I can't explain the difference I felt in my spirit with Bean's labor in contrast with Bug's. There was an assurance that I was made for this very experience. I never felt like I could not endure another contraction or had a fear that labor would go on for hours. Very different from Bug's birth where the pain was so intense I didn't want to face the impending agony of the next. With Bean, I was concentrating on one wave at a time and {kind of} enjoying the ride.

In a contraction, I would kneel against the side of the tub and when it was over, I would sit back against the heated wall. Changing positions in the water was so much easier than on dry land. Someone called down to the waiting ladies and they gathered in the room just behind me. It was time to start pushing. Everything started happening very fast.

{Here's where it gets a bit graphic...sorry. Or I could just post pictures...if you want. Ha!} I pushed through 2 contractions and Bean's head was out. As I waited for the next contraction I wanted to lean back again, but was afraid to sit down. My mom, Carrie, and Molly held their arms out and supported me as I leaned back  and bore the next contraction. Precious moment. 

And then baby girl was out...into her Daddy's waiting hands. He scooped her out of the water and lifted her to Kathy, who handed Bean to me. So perfect and peaceful.

A girl, born at 1:15pm on 1/15/06! We were immediately smitten. Sweet Man nuzzled into us and whispered his agreement to name her the name I had chosen. {He wanted another until he saw her.}

God had given us a birth experience more magical than I ever imagined. And a beautiful daughter through it all.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Bug's birth

So, by the time I was pregnant with Bug, I was working full time again...subbing as a music teacher {I know, crazy...} and right before the stick showed two lines, I accepted a fourth grade teaching position for the following year.

The first couple of trimesters were a breeze...I only became sick once...from operator error. The manufacturers say take prenatal vitamins on a full stomach for a reason. I took mine one morning before eating anything and then panicked and ate about 2/3 c. of black bean hummus. It revolted on me...revolting.

I continued taking my hormonal supplement...morning and night...to keep my progesterone level up for baby.

Knowing that I wanted to mitigate medical intervention, I met with Certified Nurse midwife who is included in a hospital practice locally. I liked her. I felt she listened to my concerns and encouraged me to come up with a natural birth plan.

At the same time, I was becoming more familiar with the practice of home birth and was very intrigued. From my incredible chiropractor, I received a name of a local lay midwife who did home births. We met with her in our home and liked her immediately...sweet, motherly, much birthing experience in hospitals and homes.

I continued seeing both women for prenatal visits {felt like I was cheating on both,} but knew I would have to choose home or hospital birth sooner or later. Still feeling unsettled in my spirit, I chose hospital sometime in the fall and said goodbye {for now} to Kathy. However, I did rent a birthing tub to use at the hospital. Our hospital had never had a woman labor or give birth in water...so there was some red tape, but we were cleared to use it.

By November, I was beginning to be uncomfortable. I developed carpal tunnel and was BIG! Bug also had the habit of kicking me while I was standing up in front of my students...they thought it was funny when I would say, "oof." 

My due date was Feb. 8th, so I was able to finish the semester in the middle of January and had a couple weeks to spare for nesting before baby. Those weeks, of course, were a blur.

February 4th, was a Thursday (?) and I went to bed as usual...too late. I woke up around 2 with cramping and went to the bathroom. Shortly after, my water broke and the fluid was brown...which indicated a possible concern. We gathered up and went to the hospital. 

Our midwife came in and checked me and assured me I was still in early labor. I was her only mom at the moment. She stayed until 9 or 10am and had to leave for a conference about 30 minutes away, but was easily accessible by phone. She knew it was going to be a while. The morning and early afternoon were pretty uneventful...contractions irregularly, some strong, some not. Sometime in the morning, we had the tub filled and warmed and I wanted to get in. I wasn't 5cm dilated and had an IV port, but got in anyway. The nurses came in to see the novelty of a woman laboring in a tub. I'd get in to relax and then back out to rest on the bed. I know now that I was too relaxed and getting into the tub slowed my labor.

Gosh, the chronology is all hazy in my memory. At some point, my midwife came back. Because of the dark amniotic fluid, my midwife ordered a saline wash (?) to wash the baby off while he was still inside me. Weird, huh? It wasn't too uncomfortable, but I was hooked into a contraption of IV and IV stands...couldn't get into the tub during that procedure. My labor was still not progressing.

By 5pm, after getting in and out of the tub, little sleep since 2am and still contracting, I was pretty tired. My stalled out labor caused my midwife to suggest pitocin to pick things up. I was 5 cm. dilated. She said, "I can give it to you now and get things going or we can wait another 12 hours and I can give it to you then." Again, now I know that her language was coercive...at the time, I was uncomfortable enough...I wanted hope of some relief. My birth plan was crumbling. The thought of another 12 hours or so of labor scared me. Sweet Man and I discussed it and agreed to have the pitocin administered. No more tub for me as I would be hooked up to an IV. 

Almost immediately labor got stronger. I labored for another 3 or 4 hours that way....more and more painful, and I felt more and more out of control. Exhausted and in pain, my midwife offered me something to take the edge off...Nubane. I took it. It made me feel drunk. I was asleep until a contraction came. I'd wake up, get through it and fall back asleep. I was aware of voices, but was not able to talk or walk. I was moved into a delivery room. Sweet Man was with me the whole time. Once it was time to push, I was able to stay awake...I pushed through 3 contractions...although I remember pushing even when not in a contraction. I really wanted to have this baby. 

Within minutes, the baby was out and she checked him over and handed him to the nurses. Sweet Man followed him...declaring him a boy. I said, "Are you sure?" because I was so sure through my pregnancy that I was having a girl...you know, heart rate, dreams, a sure name choice...all that.

Baby Bug was in the world just after midnight on Feb. 6th and I was a momma.


Saturday, May 22, 2010

Be glad these don't speak a thousand words





I have buttons...buttons that trigger emotion ie: relief, anxiety, anger. My children are beginning to discover them...my husband could draw you a schematic. He knows the spot on my thumb that helps diminish my headaches. He knows I don't like being told I'm wrong. He knows. 

My babes seem to like reminding the people closest to them that they have made mistakes. That's a button for me and became their favorite pasttime Thursday. They're just learning, so the first few times, I ignored...the next time, I reminded them their jobs are not to tell people what they've done wrong...but after about the 13th time that day, I'd had enough...so at that point, I got a little wrong.

My bubble burst and out of the rupture oozed my irritation. On the highway at 60mph, no less.

Within a half hour of that eruption, I unloaded on my husband...he hadn't even pushed any buttons...I just wasn't done spewing. Hot lava and ash fell on everyone that day.

I needed to tell him he was wrong because he spent money on something I deemed foolish. He knows now...that regardless of the hard work he does to give us all we need and more, he can't make his own decisions about spending $30. Am I right or am I right?

I really know how to make the most of the little amount of time we get to spend together, donchathink?

So, who's the fool? Who's wrong?
Don't answer that.


Anywho...I found this place near Sweet Man's office that has amazing light at sunset. I planned a little photo shoot.

I don't record videos of the kiddos very much...because instead of documenting the bickering and cajoling... with photographs, I can choose my own idyllic narration. Readers, feel free to do the same...add birdsong or giggling children to the soundtrack...actually, that is what we were hearing in addition to my shutter snapping.  So, I can look at these and delude myself:: we hadn't had a no good, horrible, very bad day...right?

Nope, doesn't work...I will probably look at these and always remember the day Mt. Momma blew her top...again.

Then I remember,

A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains,
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in Your grace.




Monday, May 10, 2010

Happy Mother's Day


Wish I could hug you, Momma....

And a little something to make you smile or cry or whatever you want to do.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Stained

I have a good,white tablecloth. You know the kind...it only comes out for special meals with special guests. It's on my table at home right now...the home that is supposed to be spotless and in "show" condition.

This cloth has a quarter-sized grease spot on it. (Perhaps the reason our house is not selling...?)


I've scrubbed and soaked and bleached, and it has faded, but not disappeared.

I've covered it with a candy dish, pumpkins, candles...but it's awkward...it's not right in the center but at one of the place settings...a reminder of a shared meal.

I walk by the table and each time my eyes go right to that spot. And I wonder if any other person who passes by notices it.

How could they not?

I have children. Children who have made mistakes. One child whose mistakes seem to be ingrained, bad habits. Mistakes I am sure have a lot to do with how I have parented him. He's a glass-half empty kid and the glass is half-filled with the wrong stuff. But no compassion from me. His thought patterns trigger at least my intolerance and at most my anger.

Does anyone else see it?

I have scrubbed and soaked, but my eyes go right to his faded stain reminding me of the last times we narrowed our eyes on a mess.

I feel like I have a few choices...1. continue to scrub and bleach and work at this stain 2. ask advice of others ..."see that stain...how do I get rid of it?"  3. toss the tablecloth  4. love it...acknowledge the stain and appreciate the memory

I have a Father who knows my stains, some I have yet to see...but loves me like I'm spotless.

If I can just love Bug like He loves him. Like He loves me.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

My boy


Lest anyone think I am not crazy about this boy...I will write about him today.

He is so like Sweet Daddy. The other day he was opening and closing the hotel room door, over and over.... Here's a sampling of my pet peeves:  1.windshield wipers set on an inappropriately fast setting (aaaaack!) and 2. unnecessary noise.

So, I snapped..."What are you doing? Come in here and stop messing with the door!"

Sweet Daddy needed no explanation from his son. He looked at me and gently explained that Bug was just trying to figure out how the latch and lock operate. Ohhhh...okay...in that context, I'm all for it. We'll add slamming doors to our homeschooling portfolio and claim credit for it. Unnecessary becomes a little more necessary.

Very inquisitive...and a perfectionist...has us both tearing our hairs out about handwriting time. His standards are so high...don't know where he got that...neither one of us big people in his life expects perfection. I definitely lean to the get-r-done-good-enough school of thought. And his daddy, while detail-oriented to the extreme also settles for less than perfect in the practical.

I consider him an expert sound-effect maker...how do boys just know how to recreate gunfire, robot sounds, and explosions with vocal chords and lips...astonishing. And an expert storyteller...he can narrate a movie scene, fairytale, video game battle, or real life event...with excrutiating detail. And run-on sentences...whoa....

He's becoming a fantastic swimmer...we're working on strokes these days, but he is definitely a swimmer at this point....pretty much just fine in the water. (Update: just got back from the hotel pool, and uhhh, I may have spoken too soon...he could be a swimmer if he was interested...but today, he was not) And a reader...I've always thought if my kids learn to 1. love Christ, 2. read, 3. swim, and 4. read music, they'll be in pretty good shape for life. So, we're getting there and soon my job will be done...right

He's cautious like me. When approaching a new experience, he wants to know what to expect, and unlike me as a child, is fairly adaptable socially. He likes one of us with him to see a new environment ie:Sunday School class, but quickly feels confident enough to stay independently without a look back in our direction. But I do adore the way he plays in a crowd and emerges looking for me...just to make eye contact before going back to play.

(Digression: That is the best feeling...I get it with his dad, too, when we've been separated in a crowd and we find each other eyes. Like at an airport, a party...or Sam's Club on a Saturday before Christmas. Always thrills my soul. cue swelling violin music)

Bug is so lovey...sneeking into bed in the wee hours and attaching himself to one of us big people. Today during couch time, we were reading and I could not turn the page or lift my coffee mug because he was right up against me. I moved down...once, twice...even taking pillows of the couch so that I could get into the corner...I finally had to ask for some space...I know I won't always have to ask...he'll just drift farther away.

I can't resist this boy. I touch his hair, I smooch his cheek, I squeeze his buns...maybe I should stop doing that....

More and more, I am realizing that God gave me the perfect children for me...and the perfect siblings for each other. I am a proud momma and gladly fade into the background behind these mostly-charming-and-oozing-with-fun-and-promise babes. I continue to try to be thankful for the challenges they bring...in the ways we are different or the same...He uses them to sand off my edges...that's what that irritation is about, right?

Monday, September 21, 2009

Public parenting


Disclaimer: This another anti-fluff post.

I may have mentioned before some challenges in my relationship with my Bug. I am crazy in love with this boy, but am realizing that there are some fundamental mistakes in my parenting, the results of which are becoming obvious. In a nutshell, he is exhibiting those tendencies of being lazy, afraid, apathetic, unchallenged, and unmotivated. Those tendencies against which his momma has always fought in herself. Why would I be intolerant, you ask? Good question.

Saturday night, we drove home from the lake and Sweet Man parked the car at our nearest big mart to grab a couple of things for dinner. Just fine, until Bug woke up from a little nap. I won't go into details about all of it. He did something he shouldn't have done. Suffice it to say... 

...I lost it...my composure (been trying so hard to keep that in check,) my temper, my effort to refrain from humiliating my child, and my streak of never swearing at my child. And it happened in public. In the W-mart parking lot. I was actually standing outside the van, at the trunk, when I blew. my. top.


I said things to him and around him, that I never have before. I was mean. I wanted him to feel bad. Major damage.

And to contrast even more I was scheduled to sing with the Praise Team the next morning. That doesn't mean I should hide this incident, just that maybe I am not in a place to be leading others in worship. I was actually hoping that someone from church would see me in my unfaithful moment and call me out on it. Maybe someone did see me and we'll have a talk some time soon. Good, I deserve it.

I can attempt to explain the incident with having a semi-crazy summer and a month of just trying to survive. Or blame it on lack of sleep at the campground or the junk-food diet for the last few days. Too many days of wacky schedule, easy eating, gifts, TV time, and treats have led to expectations and negotiations and just plain bad behavior.

But that would not suffice.

I have a problem. I try to keep control and want each and every circumstance to turn out favorably for me...I take responsibility for the actions of my children and want them to reflect the best of me. And when that doesn't happen and I am inconvenienced or embarrassed...I lose it.

I was very wrong. I need forgiveness from him, my husband, and my Father.

I was surprised by the appearance of the woman I thought I had left behind. The angry, mean, intolerant, irrational momma...each time she shows herself I am humbled and full of regret and pray that I never see her again. She always surprises me. Remember that transformation to which I was referring a few posts back...yeah, well, I do believe I've taken a few steps backward on that path. 

I'm left wondering...the old (wo)man that I was, full of sin, bought and redeemed by the blood of Christ...I thought she was eradicated, gone, out of me. But has she just been bound up to be unleashed? Is she still in me? And how do I get rid of her?

I long to be different. I am different than I was, but not as much as I thought.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Why is it...?

...that I am a better momma/wife/friend/person when others are watching...and even sometimes then I'm not so great. Wandering hypocrite heart of mine. Whose turn is it to watch me? Heaven,  help. 

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Mirror, mirror











*Some of you may have seen a version of this list in a past MOPS newsletter, but here it is again - with some changes. *
In no way do I want to sound self-righteous in this post. You who know me, know that I struggle with patience and control in my home, case in point last Saturday: when I lost it. The following is a way that God is communicating with me and challenging me to renew my mind. 


I have noticed that God holds my children's behavior up to me like a mirror. They display some unbecoming conduct and I think to myself, "Where did they learn that?" You seasoned parents already know the answer....of course, from me. My kids imitate my coping skills or lack thereof. In my more lucid (not livid) moments, I try to imagine what God says to when I act similarly with Him. God is so good and gentle with me - me, not so much in these moments. When I hear myself saying these things to Bug and Bean, (if I'm paying attention) I can hear the echo of God saying them to me.
10. It makes Me sad when you complain about what I've given to you. 
9. You should tell others when something they do bothers you - gently. And be gracious when you hear it from someone you have bothered.

8. It's not your job to tell Me what other people are doing wrong.
7. You can be mad, but you may not be mean. You can be sad, but don't try to make everyone around you sad.

6. Please obey when I call you. If I have to call you again, I will make it harder to ignore Me and there will be an unpleasant consequence.

5. When you know you've made a bad choice, come to Me; let's talk about it.
4. You made a mistake, but you'll get another chance to do better.

3. If you need help, just call Me. Lift your arms and I'll pick you up.

2. You are precious to Me.

 1. I love you always, no matter what.


Now I just need to learn how to respond patiently, gently, and consistently. Any ideas?

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Today



Disclaimer: The following post is not witty nor cohesive; rather it's a look at this day with challenges and victories. And please do not be alarmed - the changes of the last 17 days are catching up with me, but all in all we are doing very well -to God be the glory. Just pray, as we do for you.


1. Hurried morning as we try to get to MOPS - lose my temper as we got ready to get out the door - that's when it always creeps up on me and before I know it we alternately frazzled/crying and far from fresh and sweet - in the midst of it, I say to Bean, "This is the one thing I've wanted to do all week and you're going to make me late for it." Poor momma - wah! Stellar moment....

2. MOPS meeting - big meeting; great speaker on Kids and Money, some sweet ladies - grow tired explaining my life situation (wah-wah), so I kind of stopped talking, but made some good connections

3. Change lunch plans - Sweet Man was busy for lunch, but his plans changed and he takes us to Subway! Veggie sub with pepper jack - yum!

4. Grocery shopping - I'll try to spend less than $100 today - I've fallen into a rhythm of shopping every 3 or 4 days. We think we might be moving to the other side of Houston soon, so I want to live like Old Mother Hubbard. Kids help with coupons - can't find tortillas - 42% Hispanic/Latino population here...where. are. the. tortillas? I give up - we're all sweating and tired. I did find 1/2 fat girl scout cookie ice cream - yes, please.

5. No park/playground today. We try to spend a couple hours each day doing outside fun stuff. But we (I) need nap.

6. Give up finding an open and accessible recycling center in a 15 mile radius - throw out the bags I've carried for a week in the back of the van.   :(  Apparently, it's not one of Houston's priorities.
7. Good naps.

8. As productive as our mornings usually are, once we get home from lunch things fall apart a little. Inevitably, the TV is comes on.  

9. Take frozen pizza out of the freezer. Fail to read the package (normal) so I don't know that I should not place it directly on the rack, but leave it in the little tray dealio. Minutes later, I hear hissing - open oven and find that the middle of the pizza is now on the bottom of the oven. Scrape what I can onto box. Discover that this oven does not have a self-clean feature (wah.) Call Kevin and ask him to bring home a pizza. At least I bought it with a coupon.

Are you seeing a theme? all my yay! moments have to do with food - which brings up the perennial problem - my weight. I haven't found a way to consistently exercise -I kick the soccer ball with the kids, or walk a bit at lunchtime - 2 or 3 times a week I get to the complex's  exercise room - but with indulging over Christmas and eating out as much as we are - ugh! I feel gross. I should go to the exercise room, now.....

10. Watch "Wall-E" with the snuggly family - cute movie. 

11. Find our house's listing on the web. Good picture - now a little homesick; email a few friends, now more homesick (wah.) (Mimi is coming next week - bringing a little bit of home with her.)

12. Off to bed - after this. No exercise, no ice cream.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

It's a good morning, so far


Ideally, our mornings look like this:

1. Snuggle with my babes while watching Martha Speaks on PBS (Martha Peaks and Peaks and Peaks in Bean-ese)

2. Roust myself to go mash the "brew" button on the coffee maker - decaf, but I still have to have it

3. Start breakfast and feed rascals - fight the urge to open laptop - first things first

4. Take coffee and self into bathroom for Hot!!! longish shower - longish, partly because I am indulgent and partly because I add extra minutes for each time I am interrupted with a shriek, a child bursting in, or a toilet flush

5. Dress in whatever and encourage kids to do the same

6. Couch time - ideally 9ish - read Bible and assorted other books - Bug wants to read the whole Harcourt Phonics book (10 controlled reading stories) and Bean wants to hear the Max Lucado Collection (Christmas gift from Aunt Bethy) with the princess story

7. Free time - I get on laptop: check weather, email, and Facebook - maybe I clean up kitchen or fold laundry; kids play

8. Table time - Bug does letters, Bean draws - we do math under the guise of eating "ants on a log" - more laptop time for me

Incidentally - my "tennis elbow" has been killing me. What a misnomer, because the only tennis I've been playing is of the Wii variety and Bug beats me soundly. Sweet Man wisely suggested that my tennis elbow has flared because of all the Word Twist I play on this blasted computer - but I can't resist.

9. Whatever.....

10. Make lunch and gather to meet Sweet Man for lunch
What's missing? My Bible time - yes, my struggle with daily discipline continues here 

Today is going pretty much as planned...any minute now something will blow it to bits, I'm sure.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

My Little Solar System


I've heard the analogy that children are like satellites of parents - orbiting in their activity. My little satellite, Jellybean has been stretching the ellipse of her orbit. She runs fast and far away from me. And my heart pounds in the moment I have to decide whether to chase after her or stay where she last saw me, hoping she curves back to us.

Isn't it a principle that the more mass an object in space has, the stronger its gravitational pull (am I making that up?) It stands to reason then that the closer Sweet Man and I are (ahem...we are bigger together) the stronger the pull of our gravity. Her orbit and her brother's will continue to widen and accelerate, won't they? If we can continue to work on being unified (the really tricky, sticky part - ugh), then they will always arc back around to us. I pray.

Haircut

The anonymity of not being known in the fourth largest U.S. city must give me courage when it comes to changing my appearance. My sweet man chuckled at lunchtime when I said I had an appointment to have my hair cut. He knows my history of proclaiming "I'm goin' short, this time" and then chickening out. When my behind is in that chair with gleaming scissors poised and mocking mirror, my hands can't seem to go above my shoulders as I demonstrate my desired length. But today with printed-out picture in hand, I proclaimed, "I want this haircut." Shelly seemed to know my history and asked me a few insightful questions and started cutting before I could change my mind. All of this was made a little more urgent because I had my rascals in tow. I made my appointment at this salon assuming it was "family friendly" - it wasn't "family hostile," but it was awkward to say the least. My hair was washed in the opposite corner of the building of the seating area where Bug and Bean were set up with books, paper, and pencils - oh, and stale candy canes - I thought I had packed Bug's gameboy, but found out in the salon that it was some other random black drawstring bag with electronic paraphenalia. I realized halfway through the appointment that my hands were gripping the vinyl armrests ready to leap up at the first Bean shriek. Shelly noticed and encouraged me to relax - that the kids were fine and not bothering anyone. One turbanned woman came over to my chair and complimented me on the kids' behavior - thank you...but get me out of here!
Anyway, here is the result. I like it. Sweet Man said, "I thought you were going short-short!" Baby steps, man.