Bittersweet

Beautiful day. We went back to the Halloween Night park from the previous post...different and just as fun in daylight. And the weather...almost summer.

As for the question about my fun addiction affecting the kids...I've had glimmers of confirmation this week . We drove by the Bass Pro shop we visited with Sweet Daddy in August and Bean recognized and recounted what we saw in the store. Bug does that all the time, remembering events better than I do...so maybe it's not all a blur to them. That's a good thing.

We've been having fun in Cincinnati, but our thoughts keep returning to friends who are so sad this week. In and among the fun, there have been questions and there has been prayer. For them and for our sweet Indiana friends who are enduring their own strainings and stretchings.

Hi, my name is...

Get real, I'm not going to tell you my name. Either you know it or don't, but we're keeping the thin veil of anonymity in place here in the blogosphere.

But to continue the phrase: My name is _________, and I'm an experienceholic.  Actually, that's one on a list of my addictions...but it's the one coming into focus today.

I am an indulgent mother...not with toys, clothing, treats {some would argue with that} or baths {egads, no.}

I'm talking 'bout fun...the pursuit of fun, really. Not simple, entertain-'em-with-a-cardboard-box or make-mudpies fun, not that there's anything wrong with that. I want to get my children out of the house/hotel, spare our hotel neighbors, and DO something we don't often have a chance to do. I indulge my children in experiences.

...and I want to take pictures of it. Oops, this forum could be part of the problem.

This addiction manifests itself once or twice a week. I get an itch to do something fun. Here I am, often in unfamiliar territory, usually in a 200 sq. ft. room, with my window on the world aka: laptop and a little too much time on my hands. Upon arriving in unfamiliar territory, I begin to link into local event schedules for children, preferably free, but I'll consider those with a small fee. A little bit of effort is rewarded.

Right now, it is the metaphorical New Years Eve of fun activities...this fall/harvest/pumpkin/Halloween time. My addiction is flaring up... tempting fun is easy to find. The weather is beautiful. It is the culmination of agri-entertainment's year of labor. There are loads of activities here in Cincinnati for those who have a little money and scads of time. On one of the event sites, there is even a handy little icon that links the event directly to my Google calendar...too easy.

And of course, when one acknowledges an addiction, soul-searching follows. Why am I this way? and How will this affect my children?

I may have an answer for the first question. I am consciously trying to restrain the whining...but as rich as my childhood experiences were, they were repeated. I was born, grew up, graduated from college, and still have a home all within a 15 mile area. Wonderful in many ways, but....

Take my summers...spent at our family business, a swimming pool...we swam, we ran through the woods, we picnicked, we worked, we forged life-long relationships, we had fun. It was idyllic and I would give my left eye to have that place back.

But that's where we were every summer. Every birthday party I had up until the age of 22? was held there. We rarely traveled anywhere and when we did, it was to usually to camp within the radius of an hour's drive. Childhood experiences were deep but not broad.

So I am taking this life on the road and running with it...I am bound and determined to soak up the life wherever we are. And expose our family to the encounters specific to each new area.

However, we don't know anyone in these places...we don't have play dates or sleepovers. No childcare, no coffee with a friend. We pack our schedules with those activities when we can...that's the big fun at home. Here, it's up to me to find enriching entertainment. Otherwise we sit in a hotel room staring at each other or a TV.

I don't yet know the effect on the kids. Sweet Daddy and I have to keep evaluating that. I don't want to establish a need or expectation of big entertainment all the time. 

Walked on the waterfront at Winton Woods park, 

after lunch and freeze tag

First pony ride at Parky's Farm Halloween Nights

The spinning tunnel at the Funhouse

Hayride and Daddy was with us!

All that to say, here are the photos from some recent adventures, yesterday. And true to my word, there were no pumpkins involved.

Momma missed

My mom missed two parties this weekend. They were both her kinds of events. The first, a Girls' Night Out party at church. Some music, silly games, and chocolate. I clicked through online pictures of the party and cried.

Then Sunday, loved ones gathered to say goodbye to her earthly remains. We gathered first in the woods at the church. Then we drove on to the property formerly known as SVP. The warm autumn day had plenty of leaves on the trees and a brilliantly blue sky. Some of us spoke, some of us didn't. The kids played in the field. There was an invasion of labradors who tumbled down the hill, hiking with my cousin. Mom would have loved dogs running in and amongst a gathering in her honor.

Soup, sandwiches and dessert waited for us at her house.

Oh, she would have been so mad to have missed both events.


Death does not sting...but missing her does. I've been telling myself and others so often that I am okay and I feel it more than not. But these moments remind me that I am still not okay with her leaving us.

I'll see you soon, Mom.

One of those days

For realsies, this time. It fulfilled all Monday, Monday preconceptions....

We were grumpy, unmotivated, whining and not too excited to be together in a Cincinnati hotel.

But the sun was shining, so we quickly zipped through couch time and got out. We planned fun stuff. You know, returns to one store in an unfamiliar mall, grocery shopping for the week, book store...you know, just what kids want to do.

Oh, and I fed the kids leftover pizza at 11am, thinking we'd be back in time for a real lunch...not packing a lunch like I usually do....

Nothing remarkable happened, except we survived and though I felt the need to blow my stack two or three times, I held it together, mostly...and prayed. Much better plan....

We did visit both of our favorite Cincy parks; one with Sweet Daddy and the other just to get more wiggles out.

Then we came home and made this...careful...very creepy.