Okay, and we're back....
Creation got busy once the festival started, so I lost my blog motivation....
The kids had a great time reuniting with friends they've met but don't see very often. They each had a buddy to hang out with. And everyone got comfortable enough to fight with each other and then make up. We really had a blast with Bug and Bean and friend, Tony, and his kids. Each morning, we attempted to travel to the Kid's Tent to hear fun music, see the reptile/amphibian guy (still don't know the difference; I wasn't listening so good :) ) and a new ventriloquist (yay-I never liked the creepy guy from the last 3 years.) And we spent mucho time at the Inflatables Play area - it had a climbing wall and bungee/trampoline thingy. And no one got sunburn, despite the beautiful weather!!!!
We got to see Chris Tomlin, Third Day, and David Crowder on main stage...we heard Casting Crowns. I heard some good "new to me" music...B. Reith and New Found Son. And I found the Jon Foreman CD I've been looking for...cheap! Late night giggles were stifled around the campfire...you know, after "Lights Out" but we just couldn't truck our dusty selves one last time to the port-o-pots and then zip ourselves into bed. None of my favorite speakers were there...like David Nassar or Rob Bell but I heard some good stuff... hmmm, sounds like I'm complaining. Yep, here comes my pity party...stop reading if you don't wanna hear it....
It turned out to be a different Creation for me...maybe because of life circumstances this time around. There were many "i's" undotted and "t's" uncrossed with our last minute shelter scramble. I forgot/didn't plan well and was logistically unprepared for our 5-day rough camp. The tent was way comfortable, but my head was just not in the game. Maybe it wasn't supposed to be as "fun" as it has been in past years.
I was feeling maybe a little vulnerable or raw or something and it took one song from Chris Tomlin to break me...Thursday night. The rest of the week, emotion was close to the surface. Several times I found myself sitting in a chair, zoned out.
Bottom line is: God used the week to reteach a lesson that I should already know and live.
I've said this before... often, my stress is proportional to the difference between my expectations and reality. And to take it one step further, if I try to control a situation or a person to fit my expectations...I'm WAY off base.
When I have expectations of people (myself included,) events, or even God, I am in the wrong. Especially expectations that are unspoken. How fair is that? When I count on an individual to give me whatever it is I think I need, and don't even bother to express what I need, I'm bound for disappointment. When I assume that a wonderful experience will be duplicated, I will be disillusioned. I am so self-centered. Human beings were not meant to fulfill me and my needs. Life should only drive me into greater dependence on the One who can make more sense of it.
In a crisis moment (okay, another of my tantrums,) I took a walk and had a meeting with God. Through my blurred, teary eyes I could see my mistakes.
I needed to learn that lesson again...hope I don't again soon. Lord, help me live the day...and enjoy...not frequently wish things were different. I can pray for the best, try to plan for the worst...and end up somewhere in the middle. That's sounds pretty good to me.
I did worship and I am thankful for the lesson. I can be pretty sure that it was just the Creation God had planned for me.