Because Your love is better than life, my lips will glorify You.
Psalm 63:3

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Baby Bug's story

Oh my, I haven't really let myself relive this memory for a while, so this will be fun. And if you enjoy it, too...well, that's a bonus.

Do you want to know how Bug came to be? All of it? No, not all...but there were some circumstances that made it more interesting. 

Sweet Man and I married in August of 1999. We lived, we loved. Life was fun together. Of course, soon I wanted to have a baby. We bought a house in May of 2001 with the plan that I would not be working soon but staying home with a bundle. For my birthday in August of 2001, Sweet Man handed me an envelope with a slip of paper saying he was ready to become a dad. Happy Birthday to me. Officially, we wanted a baby.

Surprise...pregnancy is a many things have to be just right. After all the scare talks from parents and teachers, I thought it would take just one time. I mean my body frame is built to support at least one other person. But pregnancy wasn't happening. I was riding the rollercoaster....thinking I might be and then being assured by my body that I was not pregnant...every month, over and over, for more than a year.

We discussed options, but decided to trust God for the kind of family He wanted for us. It became clear quickly that we were united in the decision of not taking any further medical measures with his body or mine. Adoption? Certainly an option. I even came to a place where I was excited about spending my life just with Sweet Man...we'd have boatloads of fun and a fulfilling life together, just us. We were going to be okay.

Spring of 2002, I resigned from my administrative position at a local private school. I began running an eBay business from home and tutoring privately to fill the blank spaces of my day and our checkbook.

On a January, 2003 afternoon, on my way to a tutoring gig, my suh-weet little Honda Civic was rear-ended  at a stoplight by a truck. Car was totalled...I was whiplashed and stunned. 

The following week I made an appointment to see a chiropractor, who also happened to specialize in electrodermal testing as a diagnostic tool. As my treatment continued through the months, I made an appointment with him for the the end of the waiting list in May.

Life went on. My back and neck healed. I attended a ladies' retreat in May with one of my dear friends. The journey is always the destination...and about 15 minutes into the road trip I was a puddle on the seat, lamenting my infertility of almost 2 years. She cried with me and told me she just knew somehow I was going to be a mom.

At the retreat, a sister spoke about Queen Esther; her obedience to God in a challenge and her boldness. The speaker gave a spiritual challenge to offer something to God that we had been holding on to. A sacred sin or attitude. I knew immediately what God wanted me to offer; something I'd held on to so tightly that I had subconsciously defied God to take it from me. I knew with everything in me that God was waiting on me to confess and ask for help before he would release the blessing of a baby. For me, this sin and this blessing were divinely connected. It was as if my sin had created an obstacle. He would not give me a baby until this was finished. Don't misunderstand; I don't believe God is conditional in His love...but in my experience He is specific in His requests of us...and we have the choice to be intentionally obedient or disobedient. This time, I did what He asked of me {wish I could say I did that every time....}

I asked a woman to pray with me and was able to talk and cry and pray with this complete stranger {aside: I highly recommend that...very liberating.}

Lighter in spirit and liberated, I returned home to my loving Sweet Man and my normal life at home. 

A few days later, my EDS appointment came up. I went, excited to receive some concrete answers about my body...fertility was one, but not the only, question. Among other things, Dr. Orr found that my adrenal system works at a deficit. Because of steals energy from other organs in the same thyroid and my ovaries. The problem manifested itself not in my ability to become pregnant, but my inability to keep a pregnancy. He suggested the possibility that I had conceived, but lost the baby very quickly. Looking back, I could remember two times I felt sure I was pregnant and had atypical cycles. He offered me a supplement to begin taking on a certain day of my cycle which would help me maintain a pregnancy when one happened again. That very day was the suggested start of the supplement. I began to take two at night and in the morning, that evening.

A week later, I was a couple of days late, but not getting my hopes up. Making myself wait a few more days, I took a pregnancy test on a Saturday afternoon. Sweet Man was out cutting grass, but I hollered for him to come inside. Two lines on the stick!!!! It just so happened {wink, wink} that I was a few days into a pregnancy when I had my EDS test, but didn't know it until I two weeks later when I confirmed my body signs. And that was Bug.  I remember we went to a graduation party that evening and I wanted to tell everyone, but didn't. We waited another week, until Father's Day to tell our parents.

To God be all glory...Hallelujah!

His birth story is next. I won't get too gory...promise.

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